Notes from a Blended Table: Part 1, Meatballs
Every home cook is a people pleaser. It’s that simple. No one wants to spend hours shopping, prepping, and cooking food that no one likes. What’s the point? While we’re at it we might as well confess another sin: good isn’t enough. We live for the superlative. “This is the best [fill in the blank] I’ve ever had.” Take away the vanity and we’re left with something more palatable: we aim to put food in the belly and a smile on the face.
Enter children.
In a family with children at the table, there is an equation at play in every meal. The satisfaction of a meal is not related to the number of compliments but the number of complaints. It’s not the abundance of compliments but the absence of complaints that you’re aiming for, because one complaint can cancel out a multitude of compliments and send you back to the kitchen in search of an alternate meal or storming away in frustration. The difficulty of preparing a meal, then, rises in relation to the number of children present.
My table just got longer. My household has grown from a single father of three to a blended family of seven. For those keeping count, the number of opinions this home cook has to contend with just doubled.
My solution: meatballs. Specifically, frozen meatballs. If you plan ahead with chewy Italian rolls and provolone, you’ve got meatball subs that everyone will eat without complaining. No time for a grocery run? Pull the meatballs out of the freezer, go to the pantry for the Rao’s red sauce and spaghetti noodles (you’re going to want to stock up at Costco, you rarely have time for a grocery run and need a pantry ready meal when you’re in a bind) and you’ve got a crowd pleaser. But if you want to make it really easy—I’m talking stupid easy, so easy a monkey can almost do it—try my one pot baked orzo and meatballs.
While you pre-heat your oven to 400 degrees, pour a glug of olive oil in your dutch oven or cake pan so it doesn’t stick. Dump a bag of orzo, a large jar of Rao’s red sauce, a can of diced tomatoes, a can and a half of water, and a couple of pinches of salt in your pot. Stir it up. If you want to be fancy, throw in some basil from the garden. Put on the lid and throw it in the oven. You’re done. In 15 minutes or whenever the orzo is cooked enough for your taste (I prefer a little al dente), take it out of the oven and serve with some grated parmesan and a tablespoon of Calabrian chilies.
The starch from the orzo works magic in the sauce, creating a creaminess that makes you think there’s dairy. It’s way better than it should be and will make you feel embarrassed for ever bothering with boiling water and strainers. It’s got all the major food groups and will satisfy the pickiest of eaters. Believe me, I’ve tested it.
When you really need a win, meatballs are the key. They won’t win any culinary awards; they won’t get the superlatives, but they will balance the equation. Easy cooking plus happy kids minus zero complaints equals a satisfied cook.
